Food

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.10.14

* We know all about the ridiculous lawyer with three Harvard degrees who is apparently considering suing a mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant over a $4 overcharge. We'll have more on this absolute absurdity later. [Boston.com] * An English court ruled that a girl with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder couldn't be awarded damages against her mother because the harm occurred in utero. Remember folks, the unborn aren't people, only corporations are. [Daily Beast] * A Foley & Lardner IP partner may be facing sanctions for a rather unorthodox petition for a writ of certiorari that he submitted to the Supreme Court. [Legal Times] * Someone at Harvard Law taped fliers containing the last words of unarmed African-Americans who shot by police over portraits of their law professors. [ABC News] * Per a recent study, the vast majority of law students have suffered from some sort of mental health issue while in law school. This isn't at all shocking. [Yale Daily News]

By Staci Zaretsky
Billable Hours

Non-Sequiturs: 11.11.14

* Law students (and prospective law students)! Figure out your expected class rank with this handy calculator. [Witnesseth] * Elie wonders if law students are getting dumber. [Redline] * Great law review article, or greatest law review article? Judge M. Margaret McKeown’s “Culinary Ambiguity: A Canonical Approach To Deciphering Menus.” [Harvard Law Review] * Remember the lawyer caught billing 29-hour days? The guy pleaded his case to the Ohio Supreme Court and they won’t give him the time of day. [Ohio Supreme Court] * Veterans Day seems like the right time to remember the Feres Doctrine, which bars armed forces personnel from suing the government for negligence. How ridiculous is the Feres Doctrine? Justice Scalia thinks we need to allow more negligence suits! [Legal Funding Central] * A sad story of a married partner romancing a married young associate that ends in her death. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly] * If you support Obamacare, is there any reason for optimism in King v. Burwell? [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * In case you were ever interested in eminent domain in a galaxy far, far away. [The Legal Geeks] * Casino sends promotions to “compulsive gamblers” on a voluntary opt-out list. The casino calls it a “software issue.” What are the odds on that? [Ars Technica] * A former Texas judge earned a reprimand for violating the state constitution and seven ethical canons in three years. Gauntlet thrown, judges aspiring to enter our pages. [Houston Chronicle]

By Joe Patrice
Food

Non-Sequiturs: 10.13.14

* Florida State QB Jameis Winston is still in a heap of legal trouble and it turns out his best legal move might just be to drop out. It’d save him the trouble of getting demolished by Mississippi State. [Sports Illustrated] * A follow-up on the Yale Law/Colombia Prostitution/Secret Service/Obama scandal. An amateur poet was hot on this story from the start and sent cryptic verse about it to a Yale student paper way back in the day. [Ivy Gate Blog] * Ron Swanson explains lawyers. Best line, “The man who kills me will know.” [Legal Cheek] * Remember when the Texas Supreme Court cited Walter from Big Lebowski? Now we have the proper citation form for the occasion. [The Legal Satyricon] * Perdue has settled two lawsuits against it over the use of the phrase “humanely raised.” Apparently its chickens were “not that.” [Salon] * One lawyer explains why it’s high time we eliminate this holiday. [Katz Justice]

By Joe Patrice
5th Circuit

Morning Docket: 10.07.14

* Since SCOTUS punted on same-sex marriage, people in states where gay marriage bans still exist are wondering when it will be their turn. It’s just a waiting game from here on out. [USA Today] * Babies wait for no one: a pregnant lesbian couple fighting the Texas ban on gay marriage filed an usual request asking that the Fifth Circuit hurry up and schedule arguments. [WSJ Law Blog] * The “puff, puff, pass” defense? Robel Phillipos, friend of accused Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, claims he was so high during the aftermath he can’t remember a thing. [Bloomberg] * When should you apply to law school? When you can get into a top school, have clear career objectives, and won’t have to take out loans. You’re preaching to the choir. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News] * A Burger King customer is suing because he claims the restaurant’s manager attacked him with a knife and a Taser. This all allegedly happened over some cold onion rings, of course. [New York Daily News]

By Staci Zaretsky