Kids

The kids here only look this happy because there are strippers off camera.

A mom reportedly hired strippers to show up at her 16-year-old’s birthday party, and she’s being charged with a crime. This is why we can’t have nice things. Shouldn’t kids learn how to objectify women in a controlled and safe environment with adult supervision, or do you really want them learning that stuff out on the street from Hannah Montana?

New York mom Judy H. Viger allegedly hired strippers to perform at the bowling alley where her son was having his party. The strippers allegedly performed lap dances. Viger was charged with child endangerment; her lawyer claims that she will cop to a plea. Child endangerment!

Like “I’m going to beat you with this switch” endangerment, only instead of a switch the kids got hit with fake stripper boobs….

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What better way to do it than with my wand? This is the best part of my day.

– Judge Cynthia Giuliani of the Clark County, Nevada Family Court, explaining why she decided to put her gavel aside on Halloween as she finalizes adoptions — because she thinks that “what adoption does for children actually is sort-of magical.”

* Chief Judge Philip P. Simon of the Northern District of Indiana has ruled that being a federal judge is better than being an equine semen collector. Agreed. [The Kentucky Trial Court Review]

* The Supreme Court lets tradition trump technology. Because if the Founders wanted cameras in the courtroom, they would have written it into the Constitution. [Washington Post]

* NBC is developing a TV show based on Shon Hopwood’s memoir Law Man (affiliate link). Could NBC have a watchable drama? [Variety]

* Congress keeps telling us the D.C. Circuit is not overworked. They’re wrong. [People for the American Way]

* A poem about the lawyer as shark. Wasn’t this a whole TV show once? [Poetic Justice]

* Legal education needs to adapt to reflect the fact that 50 percent of law students don’t intend to use their law degrees to work in traditional legal fields. In other words, legal education needs to adapt to people too stupid to figure out the only jobs that require a law degree are those in traditional legal fields. [New York Law Journal]

* Harvard is hosting an event on the “business of college sports.” You can learn all about the business of college sports from this video right here. [Sports Agent Blog]

* The judge who forced a family to change their baby’s name from “Messiah” is getting disciplined. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Flash mobs are disturbing enough without being composed entirely of lawyers. [Daily Report Online]

* Elie and Staci appeared on CNBC’s Power Lunch today to discuss the Orrick and Pillsbury merger talks and the Clifford Chance memo. Video embedded after the jump… [CNBC]

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For the past few years, members of the mass media have been continuously harping on how difficult it is for law school graduates to secure jobs after graduation. After all, only a little more than half of the class of 2012 managed to find jobs as lawyers, and the class of 2011 didn’t fare much better.

Joblessness can have real life consequences other than the inability to repay law school debts owed to the government or private lenders, and contrary to popular belief, it’s not just graduates of lower ranked schools that have faced significant hurdles in the job market.

Today, we bring you the story of a young mother, a 2011 Ivy League law school graduate, who just lost custody of her son because she moved to another state to take the only job she was able to find. We’re afraid that this is the “new normal” for law school graduates…

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Nobody wants to take my side when I say that humiliation should not make you legally culpable for somebody else’s suicide, but I hope we’re all starting to see the dangers of letting these anti-bullying laws (and the scared parents who support them) go unchecked and unopposed. As seen around the internet, a Texas high school football team is being investigated for “bullying” another team that it beat 91-0.

That’s right folks, one parent thinks that running up the score in high school football could be bullying. I bet that parent is also pissed off that little Johnny didn’t get a participation trophy for being on the losing side of a 91-0 score. There are any number of valuable lessons children can learn from a total defeat. These include: getting back on the horse after getting knocked down, the value of a lost cause, hell, even learning when to quit because you are completely outmatched and might hurt yourself is a useful lesson in cultures that value living to fight another day.

But no, this parent wants the kid to learn that even when you get the snot kicked out of you, fair-and square, you should still figure out if there’s anybody you can whine and complain to because the mean boys didn’t let you have a touchdown.

Since this is Texas, I’m forced to blame Ted Cruz: obviously his sore loser approach to national politics is starting to affect his constituents…

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I’ve been out with the flu, which leaves me a lot of time to look up funny YouTube videos. I have no idea what sick people did before NyQuil and YouTube, but they probably died.

In any event, there’s a fun clip going around where a four-year-old recites the most famous courtroom speech of our generation. If you don’t know what speech I’m talking about, well, you probably can’t handle the truth…

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Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

On Friday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our caption contest…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Winner: The Babes Of Biglaw”

Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and vote on the finalists…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: The Babes Of Biglaw”

Sorry to disappoint you, but no, we didn’t mean “babes” as in “gorgeous men” or “beautiful women.” (Besides, as we’ve been told by readers multiple times, those are like unicorns in Biglaw.)

For what it’s worth, we meant babies. People working in large law firms are always complaining about a lack of work/life balance, so we imagine it must be awfully difficult for them to get in quality time with their young children. Even being able to change a diaper or two would be a welcome change for some of these folks.

From the looks of it, at least one considerate law firm is trying to help its attorneys do just that…

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You gotta grow up sometime.

Quick question: when is your child no longer a “child,” so that you are not legally obligated to support the bugger when you are a non-custodial parent?

If you answered “over 18,” you might be wrong, depending on your state. Some states require you to pay child support for college expenses even after your kids are no longer minors. Sounds “enlightened,” doesn’t it? I’m sure it does if you are a university president who enjoys charging as much as possible for tuition. I’m telling you, birth control is the biggest bargain in the world.

A decision last week will take one state off the list of those with an extended definition of childhood. The decision can be looked at in a lot of ways: it’s a strike against the extended childhood of millennials, while at the same time registering as a shot to single parents trying to do their best for their children. And the decision is penned by a wackadoodle judge who probably thinks this will help Jesus in his eternal quest to keep people locked into loveless marriages.

It’s fun for the whole family…

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