Law School Deans
* Kim Kardashian is reportedly seeking law firm experience despite having no “legal training” or “redeeming qualities,” and she wants Amal Clooney to give her a hand. [Legal Cheek]
* Supreme Court hears attorneys’ fees case. Baker Botts wants to get paid, yo. [Washington Post]
* With three NFL teams publicly announcing their intention to build multi-billion dollar arenas in L.A., now’s a good time to mention that firms specializing in sports work have a pretty sweet business model. [The American Lawyer]
* Jury slams Apple with $533 Million verdict. As they say, everything’s bigger in Texas. [The Litigation Daily]
Unveiling a new strategic vision and then immediately losing your dean is hardly a recipe for success.
We’ve all heard how dysfunctional entry-level legal recruiting is: Inordinate expense, decisions made on the briefest of subjective impressions with opacity all around, and what do firms reap for all their efforts? Shocking attrition rates among junior associates. It’s time for a conference on what could work better, and this is it.
* An Idaho legislator asked if we could replace gynecological exams with women swallowing a tiny camera. In his defense, how else can you tell girls they can get pregnant from a blowjob? Audio of the hearing below the jump. [Lowering the Bar]
* “Man tells cops he was drunk when he stole horse for ride to Mardi Gras parade.” I don’t think that’s a defense. In fact, being drunk may be an element for that one. [Times-Picayune]
* Did you know the former General Counsel of Starbucks has a fusion folk/blues/jazz/rock band? Apparently everyone who works at Starbucks has a band on the side. [Hsu Untied]
* “Let’s face it: There are some people here that will not vote for her unless she says what they want her to say, that the president committed an illegal act by these [immigration] executive orders.” Loretta Lynch is having a tough time making Republican friends. [The Hill]
* Some new details have been released on the investigation into DLA Piper associate David Messerschmitt’s death. Per police records, he was stabbed in the back, and was found in his hotel room with “lubricant and condom” and an “enema.” We’ll have more on this development later today. [Legal Times]
* The rankings are coming! THE RANKINGS ARE COMING! Rankings guru Bob Morse, the man who holds law school deans’ jobs in his hands, says the 2016 U.S. News Law School Rankings will be out on March 10. [Morse Code / U.S. News & World Report]
* A patent lawyer with Asperger’s syndrome is suing Patterson & Sheridan for discrimination. In his suit, he claims that a prominent partner was allowed to continually harass him in a purported quest to drive him out. Ah, law firm life. [The Recorder]
* The case against the ex-leaders of Dewey & LeBoeuf hinges on the testimony of the failed firm’s former employees. Defense attorneys, of course, are trying to get things barred from admission — including one defendant’s link to a mob member. [New York Law Journal]
* “We’re still in the same position we’ve been in. There’s progress, but things are moving at a snail’s pace.” As we mentioned earlier this week, according to NALP, the percentage of women associates in law firms is up… but not by much. [DealBook / New York Times]
* One of the best law schools in the country will have a brand new dean come this summer. Congratulations to Theodore Ruger, a longtime law professor who will assume the deanship at the University of Pennsylvania Law School in July. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
This mansion has lots of charm. Just be sure its former occupant doesn’t feng your shui.
* People keep asking Justice Ginsburg how many women she thinks will be “enough” for the SCOTUS bench, and she keeps giving us the same amazing answer. Flip the page to find out what the Notorious R.B.G. thinks. [Mother Jones]
* Law school deans gone wild! From sex scandals to rankings rumpuses, here’s a look at the crazy and sometimes criminal activities that law school administrators and faculty members have been accused of over the years. [National Law Journal]
* “That’s it. Case dismissed. Your behavior is contemptuous.” Adriana Ferreyr, the on-again, off-again girlfriend of George Soros who filed a $50 million lawsuit over a $2 million apartment, allegedly went “berserk” in court… yet again. [Dealbreaker]
* The job market would like to wish the legal profession a very unhappy New Year. According to the latest report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector lost 1,400 jobs in January, with overall jobs down by 4,500 since last year. [Am Law Daily]
* “I felt like my head was just mush inside, and I thought, ‘I’m dying.'” Mary Margaret Farren, the former Skadden attorney who survived her ex-husband’s brutal attack on her life, recounts the flashlight bludgeoning that nearly killed her. [ABC News]
* Is there no relief in sight for law schools? Moody’s says: “This continued decrease in student demand is consistent with our belief that the legal industry is experiencing a fundamental shift rather than a cyclical trend.” [Indianapolis Business Journal]
(Flip to the next page to see how many women Justice Ginsburg thinks SCOTUS needs.)
* When we first reported on this former law school dean’s arrest for prostitution, we weren’t sure if he was the alleged john. Now we know: SMU Law’s John Attanasio allegedly offered to pay an undercover officer $100 for “specific sexual acts.” [Dallas Morning News]
* It seems that a lawyer in Nebraska lost his “special pen” at the courthouse, and he’d really like it to be returned to him. It’s not just any pen — it’s a $500 Montblanc Meisterstück. Help this man get his prestigious pen back. [Omaha World-Herald]
* The early numbers on Cadwalader’s ranking in the Am Law 100 seems to indicate that would-be chair James Woolery got the hell out while the getting was still good. The firm’s profits per partner dropped by 15.3 percent in 2014. Ouch. [Am Law Daily]
* “Being in the law school business looked like a good idea. Those days are over.” Enrollment continues to decline at law schools across the country, and in Virginia, class sizes are about 20 percent smaller than they were in 2011. [Roanoke Times]
* When it comes to the recent murder-suicide of two Tulane Law students, “[p]eople are really surprised and baffled about what happened” because they say there were no warning signs. If you’re depressed, please seek help. [New Orleans Advocate]
* Given the fact that children’s vaccinations have become a topic presidential candidates are debating, you should know that almost half the states allow anti-vaxxer parents to opt-out. Thanks for the measles, everyone! [WSJ Law Blog]
Members of law school administrations are just like us: they sometimes get arrested for salacious crimes.
* Fun fact: Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson’s uncle is the managing principal of of Beverage & Diamond’s D.C. office. Thanks to a gentlemen’s bet, because Wilson’s team lost the Super Bowl, his uncle will have to wear a Gronk or Tom Brady jersey. Ouch. [Legal Times]
* One of the homeless dogs who played in Animal Planet’s 11th annual Puppy Bowl was adopted by Bob Bernstein, a former partner at Kaye Scholer. The adorable Great Pyrenees-mix now leads a life of privilege, as any Biglaw pet should. [New York Post]
* We know all about the former law school dean who was recently arrested on some pretty salacious charges. We’ll have more on this later today. [Dallas Morning News]
* The interim dean of religiously affiliated Liberty Law thinks challenges to the school’s heteronormative honor code are a “concern for the future” — especially since a Canadian Christian law school is under fire for a similar code. [Deseret News]
* It’s not just law schools in the United States that are feeling the pinch of a fewer applicants amid a pathetic legal job market. Japan’s legal education system is also struggling, and some law schools may merge in order to survive. [Japan Times]
* Prosecutors say formal charges won’t be filed in George Zimmerman’s latest aggravated assault case because his current girlfriend recanted her claims, just like his ex did. His lawyer was wrong — his client does have luck with the ladies. [CNN]
Are you a junior to mid-level corporate/finance associate who has been contemplating a move to (or within) Washington, DC? In response to increased deal activity requiring “NY (or like-kind) trained” corporate associates, the Washington, DC corporate/finance market is experiencing an unusually high demand for your skills. Read more, and check out www.g-s.com.
Disturbing allegations of assaults at a law school.
Why aren’t more law school deans willing to protect the women of this profession?
* Nothing is f*cked here, Judge: With first-class flights, alcoholic beverages, and hotel movies already nixed, lawyers who worked on the City of Detroit’s municipal bankruptcy case are now being forced to defend their multi-million dollar billables. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “It’s important to have different perspectives in Congress. It really adds a lot to the mix.” That said, which law schools are the best at producing lawmakers? You may be surprised by some of the schools that made the list. [National Law Journal]
* “Going to law school is still a great option,” says the dean of the University of Arizona James E. Rogers College of Law, a school whose 25th percentile LSAT scores dropped by six points year over year. Toss UA Law a pity application. [Daily Wildcat]
* Per the defense in the Aurora movie theater massacre case, the prosecutor’s “insistence upon the death penalty certainly seems politically motivated” — that, or maybe James Holmes deserves the death penalty for killing 12 people. [ABA Journal]
* By now, everyone’s heard of the woman who’s planning to “marry” her biological father and move to New Jersey. Believe it or not, incestual adult relationships are actually legal in the Garden State thanks to a legislative screw-up. [NJ Advance Media]
* Governor Chris Christie was worried America didn’t realize he has no respect for his constituents and is a complete fake, so he’s publicly rooting for the Dallas Cowboys over any of the three teams real New Jersey residents root for. He’s also possibly violating ethics rules. [The Legal Blitz / ATL Redline]
* Screech is going to trial. [Associated Press / Yahoo! News]
* New dean at USC. Who is it? [USC Gould School of Law]
* As the Supreme Court stares down the barrel of some highly political cases, will Chief Justice Roberts live up to his promise of non-partisanship? [Chicago Sun-Times]
* The GOP is very, very against using the popular vote to elect a president which they characterize as an effort to “steal the presidency.” Seriously. [Concurring Opinions]
* At the annual Association of American Law Schools meeting, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg handed out a delightful piece of marriage advice that she sometimes uses when dealing with her colleagues on the Supreme Court: “It helps to sometimes be a little deaf.” [National Law Journal]
* Thomas Gilbert Jr., the man accused of killing his father — who just so happened to be the founder of the Wainscott Capital hedge fund — allegedly shot him to death over a $200 cut in his monthly allowance. This is why rich people can’t have nicer things. [New York Post]
* Litigants on both sides of a First Amendment issue headed to SCOTUS are using a law review article penned by none other than Justice Elena Kagan in an attempt to influence all of the justices. See, people do read law review articles. [New York Times]
* Musical chairs, dean-poaching edition: Fordham Law just named Matthew Diller as its new dean, but he’s still going to remain as dean at Cardozo until the end of the year. Let’s see how he tackles the school’s enrollment decline. [New York Law Journal]
* Per a study conducted by the Institute for the Advancement of the American Legal System, law school graduates who participated in a practice-ready program fared better as attorneys than those who did not. Whoa, nice going. [WSJ Law Blog]
* An African-American Cleary Gottlieb project attorney is suing, claiming that the firm discriminated against him when he was fired. He alleges that white lawyers kept their jobs, but he lost his because he was black. [Legal Times]
* For law deans, hindsight is 180: This D.C.-area school “aggressively” raised tuition when everyone decided to go to law school to ride out the recession, and now its dean is admitting that doing so was a “mistake.” [Washington Post]
* “I want to bring blind justice to the Michigan Supreme Court.” Come New Year’s Day, Richard Bernstein — who has been legally blind since birth — will do just that when he’s sworn in to serve on the state’s highest court. Congratulations! [WSJ Law Blog]
* It’s important to learn the skill of entrepreneurship as part of today’s legal education since you never know when you’ll be forced to open your own practice because you can’t get someone else to give you a job. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* Associate bonuses aren’t the only charitable causes Biglaw firms are willing to throw money at in a given year. In fact, some firms dole out millions upon millions of dollars for the purpose of doing good and supporting their communities. [Am Law Daily]
* Thanks to a former Skadden attorney’s failed attempt to kill himself, police were able to retrieve a suicide note — entitled “A Sad Ending to My Life” — that revealed the lawyer’s $5M Ponzi scheme. We may have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]
* “I’m not one who believes there are too many lawyers in the country,” says Dean Thomas Guernsey of Thomas Jefferson Law. Conveniently, only 29% of TJSL’s ’13 grads are working in full-time, long-term jobs as lawyers. Kudos! [U-T San Diego]
* The government just paid the least amount of money to legal services contractors since 2008. As far as Biglaw firms are concerned, Curtis Mallet-Prevost posted “significant losses,” receiving $2M less than it did in 2013. [National Law Journal]
* Because not everyone wears gas masks, a federal judge issued a temporary restraining order to keep police from using tear gas on peaceful protestors in Ferguson without first issuing “clear and unambiguous warnings.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening! IT’S TIME! FIGHTING out of the blue corner, angry UFC combatants who are planning to use “renowned” antitrust firms to secure “hundreds of millions of dollars”! [Bloody Elbow / SB Nation]
Will more law schools adopt initiatives like this one?
And just for good measure, an NYU law student composes a “parody” of the situation and it goes about as well as you’d expect.