Poems

I realize today is the first day of the bar exam for many. Not much else to say at this point except “good luck.”

Whatever you do, take some time afterwards for yourself. If you have a job already lined up, no excuses; even if you don’t, you will still need some no-thinking time.

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My experience with federal court is limited to three months externing for a district judge after first year of law school (that and testifying in a homicide case, but that’s another column).  The time was occasionally depressing (can you say “pro se”?), always sobering (you mean the judge is actually going to rely on my legal research??), and ultimately a decent dose of reality after enduring nine months of the alter-world that is being a 1L.

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Like one of probably hundreds of associates of a certain vintage, I spent a fair number of billable hours sifting through thousands of documents (often copies of copies of copies of the same document) relating to the Enron fraud.  LJM1 and LJM2, Raptor I, II, III, and IV, etc. 

I don’t recall discovering anything that many others hadn’t already noticed, but as I found to be true in other document reviews, there were plenty of personal emails sprinkled amongst the “wheat” that offered some respite from the boredom of the review task.  That, plus the fact that essentially limitless low-stress billable hours are great for hitting bonus targets, were for me pretty much the only redeeming features of the document review exercise….

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Don’t tell anyone where you are going. Don’t tell anyone you are going. Take Fridays here and Mondays there and pretend you are sick. Milk that mild depression diagnosis. Just let it all accrue and wait until you change jobs.  

A sampling of common advice on taking vacation as a Biglaw associate, but sometimes it doesn’t always work out….

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Last week I wrote about the bar exam. This week I am hearkening back to happier times after first and/or second year of law school: fat paycheck, lunch out everyday, the life of a Biglaw summer associate. 

But maybe it isn’t quite the same experience for everyone….

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Mid-June and approximately six weeks to the bar exam.  If you are only mildly stressed right now, don’t worry, it will get worse, and worse, and yet worse, with, if you are like me, successive panic apexes interspersed with periods of apathy.  A wonderful cycle.  

This column doesn’t usually come with advice, but for your sanity I recommend taking a week off after your bar review course during which you don’t crack the books at all. It might help to have a facilitator ensuring you are perpetually inebriated during that time, so you won’t be tempted. All I can say is it worked for me….

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After attending a “meet and greet” dinner put on by our primary outside counsel recently, I was inspired to reflect on that sometimes tricky relationship.

There needs to be trust, but there needs to be distance too. A client perspective after the jump, but I’ve been on both sides, and I think it goes both ways. To all you outside counsel: enjoy your freedoms….

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The first day I started practicing, I walked into my new 40th floor office and found a Blackberry on my desk. Since then, and like many lawyers I am sure, I had hardly ever been without one. So a few weeks ago, when the company I work for abruptly informed us the email servers would no longer be supporting Blackberry devices, I felt a bit unsettled for about 5 minutes until I actually got my hands on my new IPhone (so many wasted years!). But the point is, Blackberry (Crackberry) was the first to literally enthrall so many of us.

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Qui Tam: OMP

Not “on my period.” Nor “one minute please.” I’m talking about “Office Managing Partner.”

Think I saw the initials on a business card once, and knew instantly and certainly I had encountered a type of man once colloquially known as a “knave”….

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Last Sunday, of course, was Mother’s Day. With respect, to my own mother and other mothers, here are some observations on a frustrated Biglaw career….

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