Yelp

Some lawyers have this crazy idea that the hoi polloi are in such awe of attorneys that they bend to your will upon the very mention of a Juris Doctor. It’s one thing to throw around your credentials arguing with a landlord or something like that — that’s an actual legal dispute. It’s quite another to be the person who injects their admission to the bar into every unreasonable demand. “I demand an aisle seat! I’m a lawyer!” There are probably a significant number of students who chose law school in hopes of being able to tell off someone with the threat of “I’m a lawyer!” And that’s incredibly sad.

To rain on the parade of these douchetards, regular people understand that there are a whole lot of lawyers out there and that most of them are middle managers at best and paper-pushers at worst. They aren’t really trembling over lawyer threats.

Which this attorney learned when he tried to bully a non-takeout restaurant into sending him takeout because, of course, he’s a lawyer. The restaurant disagreed and posted an epic takedown to the Internets…

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Ed note: This post originally appeared on Internet on Trial.

In this age social media justice, sooner or later you’re going to have an encounter with a negative online review, whether your a business owner, or simply a consumer. It seems like it’s becoming an accepted aspect of our lives. Increasingly, however, consumer reviews posted on various Internet sites are becoming the subject of litigation.

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Cherished lunch box of Justice Holmes.

* Harvard Law’s Langdell Library hosts a bevy of legal treasures. Including the personal lunchbox of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. [The Harvard Crimson]

* Per a new survey, watching the Kardashians makes one twice as likely to want an aggressive lawyer. When I have to watch the Kardashians I become an aggressive lawyer. [Avvo]

* The Supreme Court spent Cyber Monday denying review to two cases challenging the imposition of sales taxes on Internet purchases. [The Blog of the Legal Times]

* New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman cracked down on fake Yelp reviewers. Apparently, reviewers who gave a pet groomer 4 stars are a bigger priority than the reviewers who gave subprime-backed securities AAA ratings. [Corporate Counsel]

* Not exactly breaking news, but Philly has caught on that law firms are merging because the market is so terrible with a new piece on the merger craze. Specifically, they’re looking at the planned merger of BakerHostetler and Philly’s own Woodcock Washburn L.L.P. we mentioned last week. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Lakers guard Steve Nash’s ex-wife is battling him for child custody. She’s hired a Phoenix law firm whose most famous attorney is jacked up NFL ref Ed Hochuli. For now Hochuli isn’t working on the case directly. For now. [TMZ Sports]

* Congratulations to Kobre & Kim on being named Law Firm of the Year by the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association. [Newsday]

* Who says Civil Procedure isn’t sexy? Some UNLV Law students take to YouTube to bring (Civ Pro) SexyBack. [You Tube]

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* J.J. Redick and his girlfriend had an abortion contract. I think you can get that model on LegalZoom. [Deadspin]

* Justice Ginsburg was a looker as a college senior. [Huffington Post]

* As discussed yesterday, the sequestration is doing a number on the federal defenders. Here’s a petition to save them. [PrawfsBlawg]

* The police are enforcing Yelp reviews now? I guess Google is really pushing them. [Popehat]

* After broadcasting offensive, fake names for the Asiana crash pilots, KTVU is trying to delete the evidence through copyright claims. [Mother Jones]

* USC is the subject of a federal investigation for systematically failing to investigate rape allegations. “A DPS detective told one student that the campus police determined that no rape occurred in her case because her alleged assailant did not orgasm.” In fairness, you can’t feel anything with Trojans. Seriously though, when did USC become Dubai? [Jezebel]

* Elie joined John Carney on CNBC’s Power Lunch to discuss the Khuzami hiring and the New Republic article about the fall of Biglaw. Video from CNBC after the jump…

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If you’re an avid watcher of reality television and you’re a fan of Gordon “F**king” Ramsay’s charm, then you probably saw the episode of Kitchen Nightmares that featured Amy’s Baking Company. You see, their food and service didn’t suck; all the Yelpers who gave them horrible reviews were liars. If you’re not familiar with what happened, Chef Ramsay walked out on owners Amy and Samy Bouzaglo — who were seen pilfering servers’ tips, physically fighting with and threatening customers, and acting in an otherwise delusional way — because they were “incapable of listening.”

But what happened after the show aired is every rabid social media addict’s dream: when they received an even greater amount of negative reviews on Yelp and Reddit, the Bouzaglos took to their Facebook page to settle the score as politely and as delicately as they could manage See e.g., “PISS OFF ALL OF YOU. F**K REDDITS, F**K YELP AND F**K ALL OF YOU.” They really are lovely people.

Apparently the couple behind the self-immolating restaurant were planning to host a news conference today to speak about their experience on the show and its aftermath (and to pimp their bistro’s reopening). More than 1,500 people tried to snag a reservation to watch the expected insanity unfold.

Enter the lawyers at Davis Wright Tremaine to wag their fingers in Mutombo-esque fashion with threats of liquidated damages…

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* The saddest thing about prisons getting rated on Yelp is owning the bar down the street with fewer stars. [Simple Justice]

* Sending “LOL totes glty” is a bad idea. [IT-Lex]

* The chief of the Brooklyn DA’s gang bureau probably should have spent more time with the civil rights bureau. [NY Post]

* People don’t really pay attention to the U.S. News Best Intellectual Property Program rankings — though it’d help if they did. [Science to Law]

* UNLV’s Nancy Rapoport thinks law schools are no better than Enron. That sounds about right. [TaxProf Blog]

* When it comes to the Boston bombings, Logan Beirne answers, “What would George Washington do?” [Reuters]

* Tenure has put a crimp in the ability of law schools to excel in the ranking system that considers publication. [Ramblings on Appeal]

* Kickstarter plug: A progressive Yale student took a year off to make a documentary about a conservative activist group, the Tennessee 9-12 Project, to show civility and respect. [Kickstarter]