No one ever says they want to be a contract attorney when they grow up. Slogging through documents, trying to stave off both carpal tunnel and boredom. Somewhere in the back of your mind you might even be harboring a small little glimmer of hope called “a way out.” That small part of you that hasn’t been beaten down by the monotony and humiliation of your job nurses a stubborn conviction that you are better than this. You are funnier, you are better looking, you are more outrageous and one day you won’t have to click on issue tags to make ends meet.
If any of this sounds like you, well you may have found your golden ticket.
At least if you live in the DC metro area.
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I came across an interesting email yesterday while looking at the offerings from The Posse List (and from the looks of the tip line, many readers did too — thanks!).
We are casting for a potential reality show in the MD/DC/VA area based on the lives of contract attorneys/document review attorneys in the DC Metro area.
It will follow the social and work lives of cast members, as they navigate the dubious waters of the “contract attorney world”.
And the good folks at The Posse List have even verified that this is a legitimate opportunity — though they are careful to use the phrase “potential reality show.”
I guess after you give shows to mob wives, dance moms, pawn shop owners, fisherman, truck drivers, tanning salon workers and people who own a duck whistle business there isn’t much left.
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I can just see the dramatic cuts as Wanda Wannabe steals the last assignment from Aldo Alsoran. Dun-dun-dun! “How could you! You are stealing my livelihood!” Will there be backstabbing when Ben Busybody slyly mentions to the project manager that Glenda Goodtime still smells like this morning’s last night’s whiskey? Will heads roll when the associate learns Ralph Reviewer and Carla Contractor snuck back into the review site after hours to boink in the break room? Does TTTammy Trouble get called out for missing such an obvious priv call? Find out next week on The Reviewer Rules: Hustling One Document At A Time.
All joking aside, I’m fascinated to think anyone wants to make being a contract reviewer into a television show. That people watch for fun. Plus I imagine there will be numerous hiccups and headaches over filming due to privilege and privacy issues. Some doc review projects won’t even let reviewers take their phones or any devices with cameras into the office because of their clients’ security concerns, and they’re going to film a reality show at a project site? Seems suspect to me. Then again, if The Hills taught us anything it’s that authenticity is not essential to “reality” and perhaps with the wonder of TV magic they can re-create the mind numbing boredom of a real doc review project.
If you’re a doc reviewer in DC maybe you should take a chance and apply — your 15 minutes may be waiting.
See the full casting notice on the next page…
Alex Rich is a T14 grad and Biglaw refugee who has worked as a contract attorney for the last 7 years… and counting. If you have a story about the underbelly of the legal world known as contract work, email Alex at [email protected] and be sure to follow Alex on Twitter @AlexRichEsq