How The First Amendment Will Protect Us From Our Gun Crisis

Our Father, who art in Heaven, please let my baby come home alive.

onJuly 7, 2022 at 1:18 PM

Torn 1st Amendment Constitution text Back in my day, I remember when The Church and The State at least pretended to operate in separate spheres. While you could debate over if the Pledge of Allegiance had us mouthing praise to a nation under a Christian God, it definitely wasn’t under something secular like a Groove. In the olden times, the Elephant People™ espoused the importance of different spheres of action. It was a big selling point, actually. The state was supposed to make limited policy decisions that actually impacted people — pave roads and maintain the prison population via the trifecta that is the War on Drugs, over-policing in communities of color, and strong on law and order rhetoric. Oh, and pardon turkeys. Presidents love doing that crap. The Church was supposed to do the rest: give thoughts and prayers, feed the homeless — usually on the condition that they receive those thoughts and prayers, etc.

Now that the Supreme Court has made a bigger waste of the Establishment Clause than whatever amount of money Sony dedicated to making Morbius, things have gone topsy turvy. Given that the right to prayer includes pressuring people into being a part of your free exercise against their will, you should expect these once-separate spheres to coincide in strange ways. Like Former Education Secretary Bill Bennett forgoing law making and opting instead for the power of prayer to cull mass shootings.

Former Secretary of Education Bill Bennett, during a Fox News appearance on Wednesday, suggested that expelling demons could be a way to cut back on mass shootings.

Bennett, who served as education secretary under President Ronald Reagan, weighed in on the function of “red flag” laws ― like those in Illinois ― that are designed to keep guns out of the hands of people who are deemed to be a danger to themselves or others.

Bennett, during his Fox News appearance, said parents, schools and police officers are among the people who can “pay more attention” to potential red flags for mass violence. “But, you know, you may need an exorcist, too,” he suggested. Bennett added that young men accused of mass shootings have “deeply spiritual problems…It’s a deeply spiritual void, I think, that these young men have in their hearts and their souls, and I think it needs to be addressed,” Bennett said.

Finally, someone has the answers! It is not a good answer — a bad one, even — but it is one! And it is spreading like… umm… I’m trying to make a metaphor about replicating bits of fish and loaves of bread. The juices aren’t flowing so please just take this Hail Mary and a tweet for good measure.

Louie Gohmert of Texas, one of a few Republican politicians who blame the recent spate of school shootings on "taking prayer out of school". And of course he implies that the way to fix that is to reinstate forced prayer in public schools.

— Ewart, Dave (@davidbewart) June 19, 2022

I think Louie is on to something. If prayer is the answer, it has to mean something drastic must be done. And quickly. Because prayer definitely wasn’t enough to prevent a White supremacist from opening fire and killing nine churchgoers in the House of the Lord back in 2015. Or the 26 killed in a mass shooting at a San Antonio church. Or the three killed in at a church potluck. Or any one of the 314 mass shootings from this year.

Others have different solutions to America’s mass murder problem:

Although opponents of sensible gun control—the kind that prevails throughout most of the civilized world—continue to put the spotlight on the shooters’ motivations or unstable mental states, these are cynical diversions from the one obvious truth: The common thread in all of the country’s revolting mass shootings is the absurdly easy access to guns. The science is clear: Restrictions work, and it’s likely that even more limitations would save thousands of lives…Make protest signs. Start marching. Push lawmakers to finally break the partisan gridlock that has made moments of silence a regular observance. The National Rifle Association and its minions must be defeated. It’s up to us because the victims of gun violence are tragically and devastatingly not here to protest themselves.

That said, Science.org is probably just some leftist fake media outlet anyway. All that data and peer-reviewed research ain’t nothing on our Second Amendment and a good “Our Father.” Prayer and policing doors are the only defense this country has against firearms, after all. And if you don’t like it, you can get out.

…

Wildfire! It’s spreading like wildfire! Why didn’t I just say that earlier?

We Know What The Problem Is [Science]
Fox News Commentator Implies Exorcists Can Curb Mass Shootings [Huff Post]

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.