Alex van der Zwaan

* R. Kelly threatens to sue Lifetime, a lawsuit that will be totally worth it if the judge has to say “don’t pee on my leg and say it’s raining.” [TMZ]

* Alex Van Der Zwaan’s attorney, Laura Grossfield Birger, tapped to run the SDNY Criminal Division. That’s some… curious optics right now. [Courthouse News Service]

* The billionaire client that Boies Schiller is suing over unpaid fees has now alleged malpractice, which is a bold move considering BSF got him through multiple litigation scrapes. But this goes with the territory. I once had a holdout client claim malpractice when we’d gotten him acquitted of racketeering, so this move isn’t entirely unexpected. [New York Law Journal]

* It’s not surprising that the Ninth Circuit has some serious concerns over the possibility that the government systematically lied to the courts, it’s surprising that this isn’t a universal concern of the federal judiciary. [The Recorder]

* This round-up of the top in-house hires of December including Tesla’s decision to turn off autopilot and hire a white-collar attorney to serve as general counsel. [Law360]

* Cardinal says compensation for abuse victims is less important than avoiding “breaking” the Church. Dude, it’s going public that abuse victims aren’t as important as the Church that’s doing all the “breaking” right now. [NBC News]

* Key legal questions surrounding blockchain. [Coindesk]

* “Eat sh*t, Bob.” Last Week Tonight’s John Oliver convinced a judge to dismiss a defamation suit filed by Robert Murray of Murray Energy, finding that the comedian was well with his First Amendment rights to criticize the coal baron and his company on HBO. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Former Skadden associate Alex van der Zwaan has already pleaded guilty to lying in the Russia investigation, but special counsel Robert Mueller isn’t nearly done with the Biglaw firm. According to sources, “[l]awyers at Skadden are on edge,” which means we should get ready for some juicy Skaddenfreude. [New York Times]

* This weekend, Democrats on the House Intelligence Committee released their declassified rebuttal to Republican claims that FBI and DOJ officials abused their powers, calling those claims a “transparent” attempt to undermine the special counsel’s investigation into Russian election interference. [NBC News]

* “Do better NKU. Dont let him teach us.” Students and alumni of Northern Kentucky University Law School are demanding action after former dean Jeffrey Standen was allowed to resign and then return as NKU’s highest-paid full-time professor following sexual harassment allegations, but the school says it can’t fire him. [Cincinnati.com]

* How are you reacting to the scrutiny of sexual harassment in the workplace? That’s just one of the questions the ABA Journal and Working Mother want you to answer in this important survey for women and men working in law firms. [ABA Journal]