It’s not every day you encounter an alleged jewel thief. It sounds like such a classy crime — like Pierce Brosnan and George Clooney should be charismatically staking out Buckingham Palace.

It doesn’t sound like a crime a would-be law student in Texas should be charged with. In fact, it doesn’t sound like you should be going to law school after you’ve been charged with pawning stolen jewelery.

But when you are dealing with a law school whose admissions committee once accidentally released the names, grades, and LSAT scores of the entire entering class, maybe it’s not surprising that this alleged huckster slipped through the cracks….

Baylor University Law School has a “spring starter” program where eager beavers can get a jump on graduating into a terrible job market.

The semester is underway, but one student stood out to his Baylor classmates. I’ll let a tipster explain:

Baylor Law’s incoming spring quarter class featured your average mix of young, bright students. Amongst these overachieving, go getters was Jeff Rosenspan. While a little older than the other students, he stood out for other reasons. Classmates describe him as “a little off,” “creepy,” and “strange.” Rosenspan was living out of the local Waco Clarion and taking the hotel shuttle to school every morning. His wife and infant child lived in Boston and Rosenspan was flying home frequently, missing class to “be with his family.”

It is weird to maintain a family in Boston while going to law school in Texas. Even more cryptic was the email Rosenspan sent to his Baylor Law class:

Dear class,

As many of you know, I have been in Boston this weekend. This was my fourth cross-country trip home in just three weeks of law school…

Anyway, the decision has been made regarding my Q1 – I’m not gonna do it as a Spring 2013 starter. I believe law school is right for me (I’ve been having a great time and learning a lot), and I believe Baylor is an exceptional school. I would love to come back in the future. That said, I’m not sure when I’ll return to law school or if that law school will be Baylor….

I wish you all success and happiness!

Best,

Boston Jeff

The email also included a paragraph where he named a bunch of his classmates by name and wished them good luck.

Now, arguably Boston Jeff knew that he lived in Boston and Baylor was in Texas before he decided to start law school. It’s possible that he thought law students were gifted magic teleporters instead of having to rely on commercial air travel, but fundamentally, what the heck was Jeff thinking?

Well, the weirdness of the situation led some of his classmates to the Google machine. And there they found headlines like these on Massachusetts news sites:

“Police: Man tried to pawn stolen diamond ring”

And

Alleged masked ring thief out on bail

The allegations about Jeff provide at least one possible reason he was flying back to Boston so much:

Jeffrey Rosenspan, a graduate student who works as a private tutor, was ordered held on $4,000 bail after police say the 30-year-old stole a diamond ring and tried to sell it.

Two jewelry store owners say he gave them the same story.

“He had a cane with him. He was wearing a surgical mask. He told me he had cancer. When he walked up to me he stepped up to the counter and told me he was getting a divorce,” said Elizabeth Henry, Market Square Jewelers…

Investigators say they found that ring in Rosenspan’s car.

“The ring was located in front seat along with a blue mask, a cane, as well as pepper spray, an electric stun gun,” said a prosecutor.

Prosecutors say they found nine other diamonds rings when they arrested Rosenspan.

So, to recap: “That said, I’m not sure when I’ll return to law school or if that law school will be Baylor.”

No, I think the law school you are looking for is Tulane.

Rosenspan was charged this summer. We reached out to him to see how things were going or if there had been a final resolution in his case. He did not respond.

We also asked Baylor about the allegations. Baylor Dean Brad Toben had this to say:

Pursuant to FERPA, I can report to you that Jeffrey Rosenspan is not enrolled as a student at Baylor Law School.

Cut to Boston Jeff (played by Matt Damon), sitting on a beach in Corpus Christie. Brooklyn Decker lounges next to him in a bright orange bikini. A waiter says in a perfect British accent, “Another Mai Tai, sir?”

DAMON: Hey lookie here, it’s Kensington Robert (played by Pierce Brosnan), how have you been keeping yourself, Bobby?
BROSNAN: You’re going to hell for that cancer bit already, do you really want to get there more quickly by calling me “Bobby,” Boston? Or is it Barrister Boston now?
DAMON: No man, I had to drop that racket. Too many nosy people trying to learn how to steal the respectable way. Hey, how did you find me?
BROSNAN: Well let’s just say you’re not the only one who’s learned how to play above the law.
DECKER: If you guys are going to talk shop all day, I’m going to go for a swim.
[Brooklyn Decker does hot ass Brooklyn Decker things, saunters off screen]
BROSNAN: Did you get Toben’s ring?
DAMON: [looks at Pierce dismissively]
BROSNAN: Can I see it?
DAMON: You know, I think I will have that Mai Tai.

Police: Man tried to pawn stolen diamond ring [WHDH]

Earlier: Baylor Law Screw-Up Reveals Personal Data of Entire Admitted Class: Data That We’ve Got


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