I thought the rule for Halloween costumes was “don’t dress like Hitler.” But apparently you are also supposed to wear costumes that are nice and compassionate — or else you might be smacked around in the New York Times.
Over the weekend, you might have seen the Times story on the Stephen J. Baum law firm. As the largest so-called “foreclosure mill” in New York state, representing banks that kick people out of their homes, it’s not the kind of place that receives hugs and kisses from the community. Which is fine; lawyers there are paid for their work.
Every year the Baum firm hosts a huge Halloween party. Last year, employees reportedly dressed up like the some of the people who lose their homes during the course of Baum’s foreclosure business.
Some people are outraged that foreclosure lawyers don’t have “compassion” for their adversaries….
* Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best topless trademark lawsuits of all time. One of the best topless trademark lawsuits of all time! [Daily Mail]
* Urine trouble, lady. Here’s some proof that next time things aren’t going your way in court, you should try peeing all over yourself. [New York Post]
Most of you will be going out on Saturday for Halloween. If anybody is going as a legally themed character, send in your pictures, by email (subject line: “Halloween Costume”). We’ll judge them and pick out the best ones. Winners will get t-shirts and respect. Last year was pretty great, so keep the good times rolling.
Here’s a YouTube clip with an attractive woman offering some fashion advice for law people this weekend….
We are on the dawn on my favorite holiday. In a few short days, we will be celebrating the day when you can be whoever you want. Well, if you are a man. If you are a woman, you can whoever you want, slutty-style.
Halloween holds a special place for small-firm attorneys. Why? Because small firms permit, even encourage, their attorneys to dress up for All Hallows Eve. At least that was true at my firm, and Cam dressed up for Halloween at his small-firm.
So, with only a few days left before the big day, I offer you my tips on how to dress up at your small firm….
Tonight at sundown, the members of the tribe are going to party like it’s 5772 because it’s Rosh Hashanah. For the rest of you, that means that we’ll be celebrating the Jewish New Year. If you’re still confused, you can check out this handy-dandy Jew FAQ.
Anyway, tomorrow Jews around the world will be celebrating the holiday with apples in dipped in honey, cheeks squeezed by bubbies, kugel and challah being eaten, and more motherly nagging than can possibly be described in words. Most of us won’t be at work, if only because in some states the courts will be closed in observance of the holiday.
That’s why we found it strange that one law firm in Florida was pretty much demanding that a deposition take place tomorrow. This is one of the handful of holidays that most Jews celebrate, and here comes this law firm trying to ruin it like we’re actually going observe one of the 500 other holidays we have.
It’s a good thing we have judges to tell these goyim to stick it in their shofar and blow it….
Almost half (48%) of Career Center survey respondents said they were too busy billing on the Labor Day holiday to fire up the barbie. That’s more than the 35% of survey respondents who reported working on the Fourth of July, but less than the 73% of respondents who worked on Presidents’ Day, and the 66% of respondents who worked on MLK Day.
The most popular reasons given for skipping out on the Labor Day celebrations were:
56% said that nobody specifically asked them to do work, but they had work they needed to get done. 29% said a partner or associate asked them to do work. 14% said a client asked them to do work. 10% said they needed the hours. 7% said everyone else in their office was working. 3% said that Labor Day is not recognized as an official firm holiday.
Now let’s find out in which practice areas and at which Biglaw firms associates were most and least likely to work on Labor Day….
* Prop 8 made an appearance today at the California Supreme Court before newly seated Justice Goodwin Liu. As suspected, the liberal Liu immediately made the proponents have sex with each other as he cackled “I hate families.” [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* Next time a TSA agent sticks her hand down your pants and cops a feel, try not to call it “rape” on your blog. Instead, maybe just admit that you were asking for it by showing up to the airport dressed in all them clothes. [Techdirt]
* After Labor Day, consider that “every day should be a day to care about working people.” And don’t forget that even though judges live in impenetrable fortresses of justice, they are people, too. [Underdog]
* Here’s a good one for the 1Ls. If you’re a grieving mother and your boss forces you to remove pictures of your dead daughter from your cubicle as if she never existed, is he intentionally inflicting emotional distress upon you? Nope, but he sure is a douchebag. [Courthouse News Service]
* “In my day, we used to walk 70 miles to school…” Next time grandpa forces you to hike the Grand Canyon and starts with this old codger rhetoric, give your mom a call. That’s not legal. [CBS News]
Grandpa's idea of fun.
* If you have time to read real books, maybe you should check some of these out from the library. Do those even exist anymore? Ugh, just download them to your Kindle. [Constitutional Daily]
* One is the loneliest number, especially if you’re supposed to be in a partnership. Professor Larry Ribstein has some ideas on what ought to happen post-breakup. [Truth on the Market]
* Ahoy, me matey. This law blogarrrr wants ya t’ know that if ya want t’ trade for booty usin’ yer gold doubloons, steer yer ship toward th’ land o’ many wives. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]
Who celebrated Labor Day with an end of summer bash, and who was too busy laboring away on billable work?
Tell us by taking our short and confidential survey, brought to you by Lateral Link, and then check back later in the week for the survey results. In the meantime, you can visit the Career Center to find out more about the vacation policies at the nation’s top Biglaw firms.
Earlier this week, we reported on the latest benchslap from Judge Sam Sparks (W.D. Tex.). In his order, Judge Sparks invited attorneys to a “kindergarten party,” to address what he perceived as childish behavior.
Judge Sparks eventually called off the party. That makes sense, since he had already achieved his goal of publicly shaming the attorneys appearing before him.
Other judges have apparently taken notice. Now comes Judge Peggy Ableman of Delaware. She has called for attorneys appearing before her to attend “a ‘special’ emergency refresher course in first year ethics and civility.”
UPDATE (5:20 PM): Darn it. Delaware Superior Court Presiding Judge James T. Vaughn Jr. has taken over the case and canceled the “refresher course,” as reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer.
What’s really going to make the allegedly childlike attorneys squeal is that Judge Ableman scheduled her remedial class for the middle of Labor Day weekend….
Professor Joel P. Trachtman has developed a unique, practical guide to help lawyers analyze, argue, and write effectively.
The Tools of Argument: How the Best Lawyers Think, Argue, and Win is a highly readable 200-page book, available for about $10 in paperback or e-book. Chapters focus on foundational principles in legal argument: procedure, interpretation of contracts and statutes, use of evidence, and more. The material covered is taught only implicitly in law school. Yet, when up-and-coming attorneys master these straightforward tools, they will think and argue like the best lawyers.
For most attorneys, time spent managing the books is a necessary evil at best. Yet it is undeniably a crucial aspect of running a successful practice. With that in mind, we invite you to view or download a free webinar by Above the Law and our friends at Clio to learn how to better manage your finances.
Take this opportunity to learn what it takes to streamline your accounting and get the most out of your time. The webinar agenda:
● The basics of accounting for lawyers.
● How legal accounting differs from regular accounting.
● Report and reconciliation issues surrounding trust accounts.
● How to pick and integrate the best accounting tools for your practice.
● Steps to prepare your tax return for your firm’s income.
Do not miss this crucial chance to optimize your accounting practices. Save time and get back to billing!
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please note that Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney are still in Hong Kong and will stay FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS WEEK. We still have a handful of available slots for meetings with our Asia Chronicles fans. If we have not been in touch lately, reach out and let us know when we could meet! There is no need for an agenda at all. Most of our in-person meetings on these trips are with folks who understand that improving a legal practice through lateral hiring is an information-driven process that takes time to handle correctly.
Regarding trends in lateral US associate hiring in Hong Kong, we of course keep much of what we know off of this blog. Based on placement revenue, though, Kinney is having one of our most successful years ever in Asia. We are helping a number of our law firm clients with M&A, fund formation, cap markets, project finance, FCPA and disputes openings. These are very specific needs in many cases, so a conversation with us before jumping in may be helpful. As always, we like to be sure to get the maximum number of interviews per submission, using a well-informed, highly targeted, and selective approach, taking into account short, medium and long-term career aims.
Making a well informed decision during a job search is easier said than done – the information we provide comes from 10 years of being the market leader in US attorney placements at the top tier firms in Asia. There is no substitute for having known a hiring partner since he/she was an associate or for having helped a partner grow his or her practice from zip to zooming, and this is happily where we stand today – with years of background information on just about every relevant person in all the markets we serve, and most especially in Hong Kong/China/Greater Asia. So get in touch and get a download from us this week if we can fit it in, or soon in any case!