Former Sidley Partner Opens Up About Depression And Washing Out Of Biglaw

Going beyond the disturbing numbers to real stories of lawyers that have struggled.

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Mental health issues in Biglaw are once again a hot topic of conversation. Perhaps it isn’t surprising, we know substance abuse and other mental health issue impact the legal profession more than most. A study by ALM reveals some disturbing statistics:

74 percent said the legal profession has had a negative effect on their mental health over time;
56 percent of respondents said mental health problems and substance abuse are worse in the legal industry than in other industries;
41 percent of respondents said mental health problems and substance abuse are at a crisis level in the legal industry;
17.9 percent of respondents said they have contemplated suicide during their professional legal career;
31.2 percent of respondents said they are depressed;
64 percent of respondents said they have anxiety;
10.1 percent of respondents said they have an alcohol problem; and
2.8 percent of respondents said they have a drug problem.

But to really grapple with the problem, the profession needs to see the issue as more than impersonal numbers. They need real stories of what it is like. That’s part of the reason the death by suicide of Sidley Austin partner Gabe MacConaill has been so poignant in the industry. His body was found with a self-inflicted gunshot wound in the firm’s parking garage, but it was after his death that his story’s impact was spread. His widow, Joanna Litt, wrote a provocative op-ed titled “Big Law Killed My Husband,” detailing the stress and “maladaptive perfectionism” MacConaill dealt with and it has struck a nerve among lawyers everywhere.

Now another former Sidley partner is opening up about his struggles with mental illness. Kent Halkett wrote a piece for the Tennessee Bar Association urging the profession to take mental health seriously, particularly in the wake of COVID-19:

The law is an inherently stressful way to earn a living. The profession is now a business. Poor mental health is a medical condition. It is perpetuated in the law through a combination of shame, stress, status and stigma. Attorneys — who are excellent problem solvers by nature, education and training — have not solved the mental health problem in their ranks. Why?

The good news: attorneys with mental health challenges can thrive in the profession.

The legal profession needs to refocus its attention and resources on this crisis. Colleagues are suffering on a daily basis. The COVID-19 virus pandemic has disrupted the practice of law and increased stress levels. The time is now.

And he draws some direct parallels between MacConaill’s tragic story and his own experience at the same firm:

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Similarly, in 1995, I was a young litigation partner at Sidley Austin under severe pressure from being tasked by the firm’s management with taking control of the “case from hell” and fixing it. I readily tackled the assignment. I worked around the clock, nose to the grindstone, until the immediate threat had been successfully resolved. However, internally, something was terribly “wrong” with me. A couple of months later, I first saw a psychiatrist for my ongoing mental anguish and was diagnosed as suffering from “clinical depression.”

The diagnosis was a relief and a nightmare. There was a medical reason for my misery, but I was absolutely convinced that my career at Sidley Austin and in “Big Law” was over.

Halkett says that he never discussed his mental health struggles with anyone at the firm, and the combination of the workload and his mood disorder took its toll. As a result, he says his time at the firm was cut short, “prematurely”:

I was most afraid that I would be labeled “damaged goods” if my condition was known by the firm’s management. My worst fears were confirmed. I took six weeks of paid leave from the firm. When I resumed my practice, I went right back to having my nose to the grindstone, despite my painful experience, ongoing recovery and better instincts. I did high-quality legal work and consistently obtained good results for the firm and its clients. My colleagues did not know about my mood disorder, and they did not detect anything “wrong” with my legal abilities. Nonetheless, my career at Sidley Austin hit a plateau that I could not move beyond. The firm no longer directed choice cases and assignments to me. It curtailed my administrative contributions. My compensation was stagnant. It was clear that my time in “Big Law” was prematurely over. I resigned, and joined a small firm that provided an opportunity to continue to practice high-quality legal work, and offered the possibility of a brighter future in the legal profession.

Years later, Halkett again re-entered the world of larger law firms. But his experience shows how pervasive the issues are, and not limited to a particular firm:

After a few years, I moved again laterally as a litigation partner in an old-line, well-respected California firm with more than 100 attorneys and multiple offices. I thought that my struggle with depression was behind me forever. However, after successfully resurrecting my career and practicing without any further mental health incidents for more than 15 years, my depression resurfaced with much more severity. Again, I quickly became “damaged goods” for my new firm. I left and tried to reinvent myself at another firm, but I was fighting a losing battle. I attempted suicide less than six months later.

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Halkett says the combination of stress, status (the drive for it), and stigma create a roiling cauldron that exacerbates mental health issues in Biglaw. He urges the industry to “create a culture where all attorneys ‘feel safe’ to reach out to their family, friends or professional colleagues another attorney or, as appropriate, their firm or local bar association.” That’s something we can all get behind.


headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).