Small Law Firms

Let’s Retire 'Can I Pick Your Brain?'

Part of starting a firm means putting yourself out there and asking for help.

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Before I go into my objections to this phrase, I want to assure you that I was a notorious offender of the “pick your brain” practice. When I first began my firm, out of desperation, I would reach out to lawyers I didn’t know but whom I admired and thought could offer insight into their firm ownership journey. Part of starting a firm means putting yourself out there and asking for help, even in some of the most awkward situations. I’d often send cringe-worthy emails like this:

Dear Lawyer with Great SEO: 

My name is Iffy Ibekwe, and I am a new estate planning solo attorney. I found you on Google and would love to pick your brain about your journey to apparent success as a lawyer. Like Jon Snow, I know nothing. I need help. Can I take you to lunch or coffee? Please let me know if there’s a time that works best for you.

Sincerely, 

Desperate Iffy

If you, too, have sent emails like this, don’t feel bad. I’m not here to criticize or judge you for doing what you had to do to build your practice. However, I want to offer two alternative ways to approach a lawyer for help. (CAUTION: For attorneys who disagree with my following approach, please don’t come at me with your disapproval. I am sharing my opinion, which is not the law. You do you.

Be clear about the objective of the conversation. When I get a vague email or a LinkedIn DM asking to pick my brain, my most likely response is to put off responding to that person. This might sound harsh, but I get these sorts of requests frequently and as a business owner, wife, and mother of four children, giving away 30 minutes to someone who has an undefined objective is not the best and highest use of my time and resources. A better way to approach this is to be clear about the purpose of the conversation. Try saying:

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Hello Innovative Attorney:

I follow you on LinkedIn, and I love your insights on creating a more diverse, inclusive, and equitable legal practice. I’m leaving Biglaw in August to start a solo estate planning practice. I want to talk to you about how you position a law business to be culturally sensitive and inclusive. I have researched this topic by [succinctly insert your research and how you are not looking for the attorney to do all the work]. Would you be open to speaking for 15 minutes in the next month? If your schedule doesn’t permit our conversation, I would appreciate any referrals to other attorneys or resources who may help. Again, absolutely no pressure.

Thank you for your time,

An Attorney with Initiative

It doesn’t hurt to ask the other attorney for direction politely. Often, if I am not the right attorney for the request, I recommend another attorney or share resources, which is a workaround without the makeup, hair, and effort of a Zoom call.

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Offer to pay a consulting fee for the attorney’s time. Time is money. One of the best ways to reach out to an attorney for expertise is to offer to pay a consulting fee. Many attorneys have hourly rates, and some have flat fees for sitting down and strategizing or problem-solving. Instead of providing lunch or a coffee, which isn’t always convenient, offer to pay for 30 minutes or an hour of that attorney’s time. Start with something like this:

Dear Wise Attorney,

How are you? I am interested in consulting with you on a probate matter that involves a decedent without a will. I have never handled a probate without a will, and I want to walk through the steps before taking on a client. Do you have an hour to talk about how to handle this type of matter? I will compensate you for your time at your hourly rate. 

Please let me know if you have the availability and, if so, your hourly rate. 

Sincerely, 

A Lawyer Who Knows Time is Money

Most lawyers will appreciate the offer of money, even if they don’t accept it. After the meeting, follow up. You can send a note with cookies thanking the lawyer for their time.

I respond positively to many of the inquiries I get to “pick my brain” because I love being generous with my time and giving back where I can. I’ve even recorded a short video about how I became an estate planning lawyer; I often send it to people who want to know about my journey. After answering this question repeatedly, it made more sense to make a video letting colleagues know how I did it and that they can too!

As members of the legal profession, we have an ethical duty to strive toward the highest skill level to improve the law and the legal profession. Arguably, part of this duty involves supporting other legal professionals. However, this is not an entitlement to pick a lawyer’s brain, so you must implement a thoughtful approach that won’t exhaust or overwhelm a lawyer who already has numerous demands on her time. Please learn from my mistaken approach.

I’d love to hear your constructive comments or questions at iffywrites@ibekwelaw.com. I am always looking for topic suggestions!

Iffy Ibekwe is the principal attorney and founder of Ibekwe Law, PLLC. She is an estate planning attorney evangelist for intergenerational wealth transfer with effective wills and trusts. Iffy is writing her first book on culturally competent estate planning, available in 2022 (prayers up!). She graduated from The University of Texas School of Law and has practiced law for over 14 years. Iffy can be reached by email at iffywrites@ibekwelaw.com, on her website, and on Instagram @thejustincaselawyer.

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