Above the Law

Biglaw Firm Slapped Over ‘Culture Of Lawyering That Is Deeply Disturbing’ — See Generally

Write Your Own Detention Slip: Judge Edward Chen hit Quinn Emanuel with nearly $3 million in sanctions and ordered three of its attorneys to complete an eight-hour ethics course that the firm itself must design.

Devil’s Food, Not Bundt Cake: The DOJ indicted a former federal prosecutor for emailing herself the still-secret volume of the Jack Smith report under the file name “Bundt_Cake_Recipe.pdf.” Because the administration REALLY doesn’t want that report going public.

Stand Down And Stand By Reaches Its Payday: Todd Blanche testifies that he’s not ruling out taxpayer funds flowing to pardoned J6 rioter — one convicted of molesting two children and reportedly promising victims “Trump bucks” for their silence out of $1.776 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund.”

Temu Schoolhouse Rock: The Federal Circuit released a civic-education theme song boasting that judges “serve for life to stay independent and fair” — while it is actively in litigation for locking Judge Pauline Newman out of her courtroom.

Litigation Department Is Fine, Says Litigation Department On Fire: Paul, Weiss has lost even more litigators.

An Improper, Warrantless Breakfast: Judge suppressed evidence in the Luigi Mangione case after finding that Altoona police conducted an improper, warrantless search of his backpack at a McDonald’s — a ruling the press framed as the court “throwing him a bone” rather than the Fourth Amendment doing exactly what it is supposed to do.

$22,500 A Day For A Meme: Larry Bushart, a retired Tennessee sheriff who spent 37 days in jail for posting Facebook memes about Charlie Kirk’s death, settled his First Amendment suit against Perry County for $835,000 — proof that the arresting officers might have wanted to skim the Constitution before skipping straight to the cuffs.

Todd Blanche’s ‘Trump’s Personal Lawyer’ Shirt Has People Asking A Lot Of Questions Already Answered By His Shirt: Pressed by Senator Van Hollen on his conflict of interest, Blanche responded by yelling that the press should stop calling him Trump’s former personal lawyer despite being entirely accurate.

Arraignment Proceeds Without The Defendant — Or Her Dignity: A 33-year-old woman gave birth on a bench in a Brooklyn arraignment courtroom after being held more than 30 hours on low-level charges, and the system, rather than pausing for the arrival of a human being, simply ran the arraignment without her.

The Looksmaxxer Got Out-Looksmaxxed: Looksmaxxing influencer “Clavicular” took a plea deal for shooting a dead alligator on livestream, but the internet ignored the charge entirely and instead declared that Miami-Dade Judge Marcus Bach-Armas had decisively “mogged” the 20-year-old in his own courtroom.

Smiling Through The Pain — See Also

Paul, Weiss Loses Two More Litigation Partners: They insist everything is still alright.

Sure, Just Let AI Do The Hiring Now I Guess: Revolut’s “disruptive” tech adoption is getting ridiculed.

Expensive Internet? Blame The Migrants!: Trump wants to pin broadband cost increases on immigrant fraud.

Biglaw Firm Announces Partner Bonus Pool: Debevoise & Plimpton is swimming in the money!

Another Free Speech Social Media Arrest: This time, Texas police show they don’t care about the First Amendment.

Goodbye Broadview 6, Hello Broadview Sanctions

DOJ, call your lawyer! And maybe a priest.

Judges Should Not Weaponize Delays To Force Compromises

Judicial efficiency matters, but keeping attorneys stuck in court to force settlements can create ethical and logistical problems.

SCOTUS Opinions Keep Getting Snippier — And There May Be A Reason Why

An expert on Supreme Court interpersonal dynamics says the justices are letting more emotion seep into their writing.

Will Mark Cuban’s Cost Plus Wellness Appeal To Employers?

Employer advocates said Cost Plus Wellness could help spur more direct contracting and transparency in healthcare, though they questioned whether the model can scale and adequately measure provider quality and outcomes.

Paul, Weiss Loses Two More Litigation Partners. The Firm Would Like You To Know Everything Is Fine.

The litigation exodus continues.

FIFA’s Bigger World Cup May Come With A Bigger Cost For Fans

How much expansion still serves the integrity of the event, and how much simply serves the business model surrounding it?

Biglaw’s Lockstep Era Continues To Crack As Top Firm Announces Partner Bonus Pool

The Am Law top 50 firm’s new bonus pool signals that even lockstep loyalists are adapting to the modern lateral market.

Morning Docket: 05.22.26

* Michael Cohen says he’s applying to the DOJ slush fund. Let’s see how this plays out. [Daily Beast]

* Gibson Dunn and Davis Polk eye largest IPO in history — a $2 trillion valuation for a company that brings in about $15 billion a year. Who doesn’t love a 130x valuation? [Bloomberg Law News]

* Tom Goldstein hires Elizabeth Prelogar. So he knows he’s heading for an appeal. [Law360]

* If it seems like Todd Blanche has reoriented the whole DOJ around delivering illicit gifts to Trump, it’s because he has — and it’s why he’s going to keep his job. [Politico]

* Company turns over its outside counsel engagement process to an AI bot. What could go wrong? [Roll on Friday]

* New report says the administration will move immigration lawyers into the DOJ to “speed up” the process. [Reuters]

* ChatGPT confesses to crime that it didn’t commit. [Lowering the Bar]

Happiness Matters — See Also

The Firms Women Are Happy To Work At: These firms report some of the highest job satisfaction levels!

Young Lawyers Need To Figure Out Timing: Now is the best time to read this advice.

Experts Say Things Are Bad For The Rule Of Law: This should surprise no one. That’s part of the problem.

You Can’t Just Destroy Official Records: Judge stops Trump from disappearing the evidence.

UC Berkeley Takes A Stand On AI Learning: Huge! How many schools will follow their lead?

DOJ Lawyer Indicted Over Emailing Herself: The Jack Smith report must be terrible!

The Biglaw Firm That Dominates Lateral Hiring

At least so far in 2026.

My Big Fat President’s Big Fat Misappropriation

Hopefully, there will be a lot of taxpayer lawsuits ahead.

Indicting Former DOJ Lawyer Tells You Exactly How Bad The Jack Smith Report Must Be For Trump

More like 'Devil's Food' than 'Bundt Cake.'

UC Berkeley Cracks Down On AI Use With New Policy

Pedagogy ain't dead yet!