Harvard, Law Schools, Money

Hard Up For Cash, Harvard Sells Naming Rights

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There has been quite a bit of coverage on how the recession is affecting the august Harvard University. For example, the undergraduates aren’t getting hot breakfast anymore.
Meanwhile, over at Harvard Law School, things have gotten so bad that HLS is looking to sell off some naming rights to wealthy donors. Tax Prof Blog reports:

The following list provides a representative sample of named gift opportunities. In addition, several naming opportunities exist in the Law School’s Northwest Corner building project currently under construction.

* $25,000,000: International Graduate Student Fellowship Program, The Low Income Protection Plan Program
* $10,000,000: The Harvard Law Library Reading Room, Research Program (Academic/Clinical)
* $5,000,000: Combined Professorship and Research Fund
* $4,000,000: Professorship
* $2,000,000: Visiting Professorship
* $1,000,000: Research Fund
* $250,000: Scholarship/Fellowship Fund
* $100,000: Financial Aid Fund
* $10,000: Revolving Loan Fund

Remember, Harvard is only called “Harvard” because John Harvard had a nice library.
Maybe graduates of Harvard Business School can still afford to make lavish $25,000,000 gifts; alas, graduates of Harvard Law School probably don’t have that kind of flow anymore. But why should they be iced out of the naming game?
After the jump, let me suggest some low-cost naming rights that HLS could sell.


Item: Gannett House
Ask Price: $1.4 million and new plumbing
Possible Bidder: Barack Obama
Obama has to do something with his Nobel Prize money. Why not stick his name and credibility on Gannett House, home to the Harvard Law Review? He could rename it “Hope House,” since getting on the Law Review is the dream of so many unfulfilled HLS students.
Item: All Other HLS Journals
Ask Price: $10
Possible Bidder: Sam Walton Mike Duke
Of course, HLS has a lot of journals that are not the Harvard Law Review. They do good work; they are just less well-known. Enter Mike Duke, CEO of Wal-Mart. Can you imagine how well the Harvard Civil Rights – Civil Liberties Law Review would do with product placement next to The Lost Symbol? Call it the “Civil Liberties Saver,” and you are sitting on publishing gold! The ask price may even be too low — Duke should be willing to pay at least $50 for this.
Item: HLS Career Services
Ask Price: $1 billion
Possible Bidder: U.S. Congress.
Has TARP created one job? What about the stimulus package? HLS Career Services has. The positive press from being associated with people who are actually finding jobs for people has to be worth at least $1,000,000,000 to our Congress. The “Pelosi Placement Agency” could be something for them to campaign on.
Item: Supreme Court Clerkship
Ask Price: $120,000
Possible Bidder: Tier 2, 3 or 4 law student with excellent grades
Are you at the top of your class at a lower tier school? Do you have no reasonable shot at a SCOTUS clerkship because you spent too much time drinking and whoring in college to get into a top law school? Well, for the low, low price of roughly three years of HLS tuition, HLS will vouch for your credentials when you send them into Supreme Court justices. Limited time offer, first come, first served.
Item: Charlie Nesson
Ask Price: We pay you!
Possible Bidder: Any Coherent Law Professor
Charlie Nesson has had a long and storied career at HLS. But after he went on the Colbert Report earlier this year, HLS has had enough. The man has tenure, so the law school can’t get rid of him. But if someone could take Nesson off of HLS’s hands (perhaps sending him to Uruguay to work on Chupacabra defense), there might be a nice payoff in it for somebody. (J/k: Professor Nesson is the best!)
Naming Opportunities at Harvard Law School [Tax Prof Blog]
Earlier: Harvard Law School: An Ivory Recession

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