Are you the Snooki of document review?
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Will Teresa Giudice have to flip a table to get justice?
* “[I]t’s hard to find anybody as handsome as Antonin Scalia.” Some would beg to differ, but as it turns out, legal scholar Bryan Garner can brown-nose with the best of them. [WSJ Law Blog]
* In a lawsuit filed against real estate database Zillow, a former employee claims she was subjected to the “most heinous acts of sexual harassment imaginable” and “sexual torture.” That’s just lovely. [LAist]
* Law firm merger activity is still going strong as 2014 winds down to a close. Aside from big-name tie-ups like Bingham / Morgan Lewis and Locke Lord / Edwards Wildman, other firms like Verill Dana also had the urge to merge. [Am Law Daily]
* “Does it really surprise me? Not all that much.” University of Memphis School of Law students are on high alert during finals time after one of their own was almost robbed at gunpoint across the street from campus this week. Yikes. [WMC Action News 5]
* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Above the Law’s managing editor, David Lat, wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and it’s been receiving rave reviews. If you dig clerkship lit, you should try to check it out. [National Law Journal]
* “Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.” Louisa Moritz, one of Bill Cosby’s alleged victims, is interested in filing a class-action lawsuit against the comedian. [Fox News Latino]
* If you’re interested, here’s all of the testimony and evidence that was presented to the grand jury that resulted in no true bill for Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown shooting. [Associated Press]
* HBO hired a team of 160 lawyers to look at its film adaptation of Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology. The power of thetans compels them to keep churning that bill, baby. [Hollywood Reporter]
* “The Constitution is not a math problem,” but it seems like the Supreme Court is playing a numbers game when it comes to its decisions having to do with same-sex marriage. What’s the magic number for SCOTUS to take a case? [New York Times]
* It’s official: Morgan Lewis has gobbled up most of Bingham McCutchen ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Stick a fork in it, because Morgan Lewis is done — it’s now stuffed full of more lawyers than any other firm in the country. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Emerson Briggs III, an ex-partner at Hunton & Williams, is facing disbarment in D.C. over the child pornography he downloaded at work. Oh, how the mighty have fallen: he’s been working as a paralegal since being disbarred in New York. [Legal Times]
* Patricia Nesci, a law firm secretary, allegedly forged a judge’s signature on an order to show cause to keep herself from being evicted from her home earlier this month. She apparently did not get a Biglaw-style bonus from her former firm. [Syracuse.com]
* Before you submit your applications, you should try creating a budget to see just how financially screwed you’ll be during and after law school, and then compare it to your pre-law school budget. Try not to cry. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
Autopsies and sex go together like… well they really shouldn’t go together.
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* Floridian women lawyers got their wish: Bad Judge, plagued by bad ratings, is getting canceled. [Daily Business Review]
* A round-up of write-ups about today’s oral arguments in the Israel / Jerusalem passport case. [How Appealing]
* Interesting reflections from Professor Glenn Reynolds on the controversial catcalling video.
[USA Today via Instapundit]
* Things are bats**t insane — literally — at this Utah courthouse. [Gawker]
* The D.C. Circuit gives the EPA its way on cross-state air pollution. [Breaking Energy]
* Election monitors from the Justice Department: possibly coming to a jurisdiction near you (including Bergen County, New Jersey, where I grew up). [BuzzFeed]
* Can cops force suspects to use their fingerprints to unlock their cellphones? Eric Crusius and Lisa Giovinazzo debate, after the jump. [Fox News]
* After being temporarily suspended as part of “Porngate” for trafficking in “highly demeaning portrayals of members of various segments of the population, including women, elderly persons, and uniformed school girls,” Seamus McCaffrey retires from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. [Philadelphia Daily News]
* A group of women lawyers in Miami has called for NBC to cancel Bad Judge because it “depicts a female judge as unethical, lazy, crude, hyper-sexualized, and unfit to hold such an esteemed position of power.” Indeed there’s no place for depicting women judges that way on TV. Especially when Miami is perfectly capable of depicting them that way in real life. [Crushable]
* Epic trademark infringement. [Legal Cheek]
* Crazy pro se guy slapped down in Canada. [Lowering the Bar]
* While almost everyone else is seeing lower applications, USC Law saw a 5 percent bump. [USC Gould School of Law]
* Stanford and Dartmouth in hot water over election law charges in Montana. Apparently piercing the imaginary veil of non-partisanship in judicial elections is the problem and not the whole idea of judicial elections in the first place. [Montana Standard]
Finally, a scene that realistically depicts what being a lawyer is really like.
* A Saul Goodman Bobblehead. You know you want it. [Amazon (affiliate link)] * It looks like that Jimmy John’s non-compete agreement we reported on is going to spawn a congressional inquiry. [Huffington Post] * His dreams of becoming a solicitor were sidetracked when he was “jailed for slapping a sleeping woman in the face […]
Come for the oral argument coverage, stay for the point where Justice Alito tries to hump Justice Kagan….
* Congratulations (and good luck) to our nation’s new ebola czar — who happens to be a high-profile lawyer. [ATL Redline]
* An update on the Charleston Law/InfiLaw drama. [Post and Courier]
* If they had only taken the pink underwear off the patient before he woke up, he wouldn’t have his panties in a bunch. [Huffington Post]
* Getting people to read law review articles is hard enough; why put them behind a wall? [TaxProf Blog]
* It’s funny that Floridian lawyers are having such a bad reaction to Bad Judge, since the show could actually be reality TV down there. [Daily Business Review (sub. req.)]
* Career advice: if you aspire to the federal judiciary, try to avoid writing blog posts about biting girls in the butt. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly (sub. req.)]
* Congrats to lawyer Lisa Smith on winning the Pitch Week book competition at the When Words Count Retreat! [Street Insider]
What moment had columnist Alex Rich saying, “that is exactly what law school is like”?
* Florida State QB Jameis Winston is still in a heap of legal trouble and it turns out his best legal move might just be to drop out. It’d save him the trouble of getting demolished by Mississippi State. [Sports Illustrated]
* A follow-up on the Yale Law/Colombia Prostitution/Secret Service/Obama scandal. An amateur poet was hot on this story from the start and sent cryptic verse about it to a Yale student paper way back in the day. [Ivy Gate Blog]
* Ron Swanson explains lawyers. Best line, “The man who kills me will know.” [Legal Cheek]
* Remember when the Texas Supreme Court cited Walter from Big Lebowski? Now we have the proper citation form for the occasion. [The Legal Satyricon]
* Perdue has settled two lawsuits against it over the use of the phrase “humanely raised.” Apparently its chickens were “not that.” [Salon]
* One lawyer explains why it’s high time we eliminate this holiday. [Katz Justice]