Television

* They’re making The Devil’s Advocate into a TV show. That is all. [io9]

* Lingerie brand is suing its former lawyer for screwing up its patent filing. What a boob. [NY Post]

* Chris Kluwe and the Minnesota Vikings have reached a settlement to avoid potential embarrassment. Now if only they could reach settlement with the Packers for the same reason. [NBC Sports]

* The world of raising hogs meets the Eighth Circuit. The fifth “H” stands for what the hell? [The Legal Geeks]

* Shares in Taser have gone up 25 percent since Michael Brown’s shooting. Oh, remember Taser? The company that makes a product that stops fleeing suspects without executing them? Looks like the market is expecting a sea change in how police do business. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Jesus. A teenager who waited in jail for three years pending trial died in solitary confinement at Rikers Island when his heart exploded. A new lawsuit alleges that the prison just ignored the condition. So much for innocent until proven guilty. [Gawker]

* A new study undermines the myth that the gender imbalance in tenure is not related to productivity. But hey, who cares, tenure is passé according to Laurence Tribe. [Inside Higher Ed h/t TaxLaw Prof]

* When times are tough, lawyers are denying their law degrees in job applications. No matter how hard you pretend, your debt isn’t going away. [Law and More]

* Jury writes judge a note asking for a “big bottle of wine.” It’s gonna be a long night. [Southern District of Florida Blog]

* As it turns out, some Redditors are morons who don’t understand law. Glad we cleared that up. [The Concourse]

* There’s a Kickstarter for an Ally McBeal podcast. If you love talking about unisex bathrooms, here’s a golden opportunity. [Kickstarter]

* Attention law students: there’s a $500 prize in it if you can craft a winning blog post. [The Expert Institute]

* Terrible, terrible advertising. [Copyranter]

* A Simpson Thacher associate is planning to row across the Atlantic to support cancer research. [Remacae]

* These teacher tenure suits are so stupid and completely miss the real reason public schools have trouble. And the lead plaintiff inadvertently confessed just how off the mark he is. [Washington Post]

* AMC released the teaser for Better Call Saul. After the jump… [via Time Magazine]

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Jim Marchese

I don’t fight. I think it’s stupid. I’m trained as an attorney. If I want to hurt you, I’m going to sue you. I’m going to leverage your house. I’m gonna give you three years of hell in a courtroom. I’m going to bleed dry you financially, and I’m going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch.

Jim Marchese, husband to Amber Marchese (one of the newest cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey), explaining why he chose to avoid a fight with Joe Gorga, another Real Housewives husband, on the latest episode.

(Marchese is a graduate of Seton Hall Law and was a whistleblower in the Cell Therapeutics case, which earned him $1.6 million. Marchese recently claimed to be involved in the bankruptcy fraud prosecution of Joe and Teresa Giudice, but a spokesperson for the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of New Jersey said “[n]o one involved with the prosecution has any idea who that man is.”)

Andi Dorfman

If you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why you made love to me.

Nick Viall, the runner-up on the latest season of The Bachelorette, announcing on live TV that while the show was being filmed, he had sex with Andi Dorfman, the assistant district attorney who accepted a marriage proposal from another man.

* Have you all called the Breaking Bad law firm number yet? Because it works, so go for it! [Legal Cheek]

* How to make airlines more profitable: make everyone sit on bicycle seats! [Lowering the Bar]

* Ilya Somin explains why the D.C. Circuit’s interpretation in Halbig isn’t absurd. And it’s not absurd. It just reflects the hilariously cynical conservative opposition to giving their own citizens tax breaks. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Ohio State fired its band director amid sexual harassment allegations. To fire a guy, Ohio State must have dotted every “i” in this investigation. [USA Today]

* Speaking of sexual harassment, the Navy’s Blue Angels are the subject of a sexual harassment suit. And somehow it involves a blue and gold penis seen from space. [Slate]

* The Chevron battle over Ecuador continues. Turns out the star witness Chevron paid upwards of $1 million to testify took 50 days of prep to finally get his ever-shifting story straight. [Huffington Post]

* There’s a new book out called Kate’s Escape from the Billable Hour (affiliate link). We haven’t read it, but apparently this tale of “a burnt-out, second-year attorney working in the dysfunctional world of Big Law” mentions ATL. So they definitely did their research. [Amazon]

* Watch a drunk guy give cops a lesson in Con Law. Video after the jump…. [Barstool Sports]

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When portraying lawyers, television tends to stay away from the horrors of Biglaw. The good versus evil of the criminal justice system tends to get more play; there is more inherent drama when freedom is on the line (and who can resist the ubiquitous chung CHUNG). If any other types of lawyers are represented, it skews toward do-gooders making emotional pleas in court as champion of the underdog or smarmy corporate lawyers finding the loopholes for the rich. But the hard-working cogs that actually make the legal industry churn along go unrecognized.

So what happens when a network sitcom tries to take on Biglaw?

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Ed. note: Please welcome Steve Dykstra, our newest columnist, who will be covering the Canadian legal market.

I am a Canadian-trained lawyer and legal recruiter. I recruit throughout North America so I really get to study the legal systems on both sides of the border. I thought it would be fun and interesting to highlight some of the differences between the American and Canadian systems — hence the column’s title, “The View From Up North”.

As this is my first column, I want to provide a bit of an overview. In coming weeks, I’ll focus more narrowly on specific topics.

Sound good?

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Phaedra Parks

Back in 2010, we told our readers about Phaedra Parks, one of the new stars of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The buzz about Parks was huge, in part due to the fact that she had a successful professional career as an attorney before the show aired. Parks, a “Super Lawyer” in the field of entertainment law, previously described herself as “fabulous, fierce, and beautiful” — but these days, the UGA Law grad may not be feeling so hot.

It seems that her husband, Apollo Nida, is once again in some serious trouble with the law. What happened this time, and how is this going to impact the reality TV show’s upcoming season?

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I get it, Bachelorette fans, you really think that ABC and the other broadcast networks are “free” and that you should be able to watch them without paying for them. You’ve been told, all your life, that they’re on the “public” airwaves, and that means everybody should be able to watch them without paying the cable company its monthly vig. You hate today’s Aereo decision, because once again the most pro-business Supreme Court ever backed “the evil cable companies” over consumers who want to “cut the cord.” Check out Brian Barrett’s excellent piece on how the Court killed technology and freedom itself this morning.

And when you are done crying, please, grow up. You can’t steal television. Aereo was stealing television. Aereo was stealing television and selling it back to you at a cheap price… which is what fences do when they sell you something they’ve stolen….

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* This Biglaw firm is getting into the imaginary money business by bidding on $18M of Bitcoins seized in the Silk Road raid. Maybe they’ll accept this new “currency” as payment. [Am Law Daily]

* Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wants his trial moved to New York or D.C. for an unbiased jury. Moving it to cities where terrorist attacks have occurred is a great idea! [Bloomberg]

* Here’s a perfect headline for a lovely Friday when we imagine people will be able to get in some quality day drinking: “Market Struggles to Absorb Record Law School Class of ’13.” [National Law Journal]

* Part of George Zimmerman’s defamation lawsuit against NBC was dismissed because his attorneys waited too long to ask the network for a retraction. Time to paint a picture about it, Georgie. [Fox News]

* Can you sue the dude who banged your wife for ruining your marriage? It sucks for cuckolded husbands, but you can’t in most states, including West Virginia, where family trees grow in a circle. [WSJ Law Blog]

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