* Analyzing the Supreme Court on style over substance. Probably for the best because the substance has been pretty shoddy for a lot of the last few years. [SCOTUSblog]
* “Constitutional oriented” judge has some issues with the First Amendment. I guess he’s a “pre-Amendment Originalist.” [Popehat]
* Lawyers should find a niche in connected devices. It’s true. But since the partners I used to work with still printed out all their emails, good luck with that. [Law and More]
* The psychic toll of bankruptcy work. [The Docket]
* Ninth Circuit overrules lower court, holding that an arbitrator is not inherently plaintiff-biased because he or she has participated in litigation financing. [LFC 360]
We’ve all heard how dysfunctional entry-level legal recruiting is: Inordinate expense, decisions made on the briefest of subjective impressions with opacity all around, and what do firms reap for all their efforts? Shocking attrition rates among junior associates. It’s time for a conference on what could work better, and this is it.
The egregious legal errors keep mounting. And we also wonder how Keating and Associates stays in business.
“You don’t want a criminal lawyer. You want a criminal lawyer.” If you like Breaking Bad, watch Better Call Saul.
* 12 Things Every Lawyer Should Learn From Saul Goodman. [LinkedIn]
* The 10th Circuit had so much trouble wading through a federal statute they had to diagram the sentence. As the opinion notes, “[t]hat bramble of prepositional phrases may excite the grammar teacher but it’s certainly kept the federal courts busy.” If you want to see the whole opinion, it’s here. [Lowering the Bar]
* Meet your King v. Burwell plaintiffs! It’s actually kind of sad. Like the guy paying $655/month on health insurance who could be paying $62.49/month but won’t because Obama is a secret Muslim or something. [Jezebel]
* Speaking of cybersecurity, hackers hit Anthem Insurance pretty bad. At least the company is handling the data breach well. [LXBN]
* New evidence reveals that the victims of lynchings in the South were much higher than previously assumed. Thankfully, racism is over according to the Supreme Court. [Gawker Justice]
Meanwhile, that sentence diagramming opinion discussed earlier is available on the next page….
* Silk Road’s Ross Ulbricht found guilty. [Law360
* Valentine’s Day gifts for lawyers. [Law and More]
* “7 Things You Only Find Out as a Lawyer to the Poor.” [Cracked]
* On the day high school athletes sign away their futures, this article explains that law school is almost as bad when it comes to transfers. [Inside Higher Ed]
* Win your case… still lose your license. [Associated Press via Philly.com]
* Should law professors serve as both parties and counsel on amicus briefs? An interesting question of ivory towerness. [Josh Blackman’s Blog]
* The duty to vaccinate: or not all libertarians are as crazy as Rand Paul. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
Apparently no one brushed up on legal ethics over the break.
* SWAT team called in to break up a poker game between a bunch of rich people. The militarization of the police seems like it’s going great. [Washington Post]
* South Carolina has finally vacated the convictions of the Friendship Nine — protesters busted for sitting at the diner counter who pioneered the “jail, no bail” strategy that dominated the 60s civil rights movement. It only took 54 years. [Huffington Post]
* Another day, another embarrassing development for the plaintiffs in King v. Burwell. This time it’s former Senator Ben Nelson who Obamacare challengers cite for their claim that the Senate never intended subsidies to go to states without their own exchanges. Well, Senator Nelson wrote his own brief blowing this theory out of the water. This is basically SCOTUS’s version of the Marshall McLuhan scene. [Washington Post]
* A list of upcoming books about the Supreme Court. [SCOTUSBlog]
* An enterprising law office discovered that the courts in Oklahoma publish social security numbers all the time. [Wirth Law Office]
* D.C. Circuit Judge Patricia Millett talks clerking diversity. [National Law Journal]
* UC Hastings Law student Hali Ford is competing on the 30th season of Survivor. Her interview video is below. [TV Grapevine]
Are you a junior to mid-level corporate/finance associate who has been contemplating a move to (or within) Washington, DC? In response to increased deal activity requiring “NY (or like-kind) trained” corporate associates, the Washington, DC corporate/finance market is experiencing an unusually high demand for your skills. Read more, and check out www.g-s.com.
* On Friday, the Supreme Court agreed to evaluate the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, and this is perhaps the definitive article on how the justices have been preparing the nation for marriage equality. Get ready for some big gay weddings this summer. [BuzzFeed]
* Smile for the camera! Kent and Jill Easter, the infamous helicopter-parenting lawyers who went to jail for attempting to frame a volunteer at their son’s school on drug charges, found themselves at the center of a 20/20 story. [ABC News]
* With it being highly likely that the Supreme Court will declare bans on same-sex marriage by the states unconstitutional, people are wondering which justice will be the one the vote hinges upon. Could it be Chief Justice Roberts? [New Republic]
* Come on now, the swing vote in the same-sex marriage cases will obviously be Justice Kennedy. The legal tea leaves have been read, and with his majority opinions in Romer, Lawrence, and Windsor, the future has been foretold. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Steven Metro, the former managing clerk of Simpson Thacher’s New York office, was finally indicted after being charged with insider trading almost one year ago. If you’re interested, flip to the next page to see the juicy indictment. [Am Law Daily]
* In a new report, the Texas attorney general’s office concluded the forgivable faculty loan program at UT Law not only violated school rules, but also “set into motion a lack of transparency that ultimately led to a lack of accountability.” [Texas Tribune]
Lately, there has been a dearth of truly great legal television dramas. We’ve got some great ideas. Would you watch any of them?
* From Biglaw to big fields: This Duane Morris attorney decided to put her legal career out to pasture so she could hop on a tractor and become a farmer — and not just any farmer, but an organic farmer. Oooh, how artisanal! [Am Law Daily]
* Seventy percent of people who make $150K+ get the raises they ask for, and people with law degrees get raises more often than any other degree holders. Walk up to your law firm’s managing partner and demand a raise. We dare you. [U.S. News]
* The Tenth Circuit affirmed the dismissal of a suit filed by a former Kansas Law student who claimed he was wrongfully expelled. Apparently he forgot to disclose his criminal past, and when the school found out, he got the boot. [National Law Journal]
* The William Mitchell College of Law welcomed its first class of “hybrid” online students this week. Law school may have lost its flair, but 85 crazy kids ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s jumped at the chance to learn law online. [Star Tribune]
* Marvel trotted out a familiar law firm plaque to gin up excitement for the premiere of Daredevil, which will be out on Netflix come April. Comic book nerds, rejoice, for Nelson and Murdock will soon be open for business and gracing your screens. [/Film]
Deep down inside, each and every tax lawyer is really a rock star.
* Governor Chris Christie was worried America didn’t realize he has no respect for his constituents and is a complete fake, so he’s publicly rooting for the Dallas Cowboys over any of the three teams real New Jersey residents root for. He’s also possibly violating ethics rules. [The Legal Blitz / ATL Redline]
* Screech is going to trial. [Associated Press / Yahoo! News]
* New dean at USC. Who is it? [USC Gould School of Law]
* As the Supreme Court stares down the barrel of some highly political cases, will Chief Justice Roberts live up to his promise of non-partisanship? [Chicago Sun-Times]
* The GOP is very, very against using the popular vote to elect a president which they characterize as an effort to “steal the presidency.” Seriously. [Concurring Opinions]
* In all the excitement of being back yesterday, I’d forgotten to note that TV’s Screech was arrested for allegedly stabbing a guy in Wisconsin. Mr. Belding is reportedly pissed. [ABC News]
* United Airlines is suing a 22-year-old for pointing out that they routinely rip-off passengers. Sounds… well, a lot like something United Airlines would do. [WGN]
* Boston law schools lose over a third of their enrollment. Except Harvard. Harvard’s doing just fine. [TaxProf Blog]
* President adopts a werewolf. There’s one important reason you haven’t seen this on Fox News yet. [Lowering the Bar]
* Want to test yourself with a Con Law final exam about Ebola? [Dorf on Law]
* The Hardcore Pawn guys talk about what they look for in lawyers. If we’re good enough they’ll give us $20 for our services, but honestly that’s the best they can do. [Forbes]
* 10 Things People Don’t Understand About ‘Serial’ Unless You’re a Criminal Attorney. What I don’t understand is why we’re still talking about this show a week later. [Huffington Post]
* Have you been waiting for a Dynamite Hack’s Boyz N the Hood to be reimagined as a song about law professors? Then I present Profs in the School. [Lawprofblawg]
* Are law students worse students than they used to be? At least worse than they were when professors used to walk uphill both ways in the snow. [PrawfsBlawg]
* 2013 job results. For all the schools. [Associate’s Mind]
* Florida Judge Cynthia Imperato was “devastated” after a jury found her guilty of DUI and reckless driving charges, but we imagine the judge may be more devastated by the fact that she’s a sitting judge who’s been sentenced to 20 days of house arrest. [Florida Sun Sentinel]
* David Schwimmer, best known for his role as Ross on Friends, has been cast as lawyer Robert Kardashian in an O.J. Simpson true crime television miniseries. He surely knows it’ll take a lot of “unagi” to play the role just right. [Rolling Stone]
* If you have to debt finance your J.D., you’re going to in for a rude awakening when you graduate and the loans start coming due. FYI, “lot[s] of graduates [are] buried in private student loan debt with not enough income to repay it.” [Forbes]
* The parents of James Holmes, who’s better known as the alleged shooter in the Aurora movie theater massacre, have begged for him to be spared the death penalty ahead of his trial, but prosecutors say that in this case, “justice is death.” [Denver Post]
* When it comes to Russia, “[a] lot of firms are thinking about pulling out.” That’s what she would’ve said if she were a managing partner. Biglaw firms that have been rocked by the ruble’s ruin are telling lawyers to leave before they’re laid off. [Am Law Daily]
* Binder & Binder, the National Social Security Disability Advocates® whose late-night TV commercials you’ve grown to love, has filed for bankruptcy. The firm’s headcount will likely drop by more than half because of this. Yikes! [WSJ Law Blog]