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Chum’s in the water, folks. And here come the sharks.

Since we first learned that ExamSoft ruined the otherwise relaxing experience of taking the bar exam, we’ve anticipated lawsuits. You can’t piss off all the would-be lawyers you can get your hands on and expect to come through un-served. It is known.

One person on Twitter put it this way: “Numerosity, commonality, typicality, adequacy: Pretty sure all harmed #barexam takers could form a class action against @ExamSoft.”

This law firm is happy to get that ball rolling…

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In fairness, if you’re writing the newspaper for advice, you probably aren’t expecting the most sage counsel. Still, these ersatz Ann Landerses really outdid themselves in giving shockingly terrible advice about going to law school. One would think an advice columnist would at least look into the merits of the questions they’re asked. It really doesn’t require all that much research to confirm the basic truths about what lies ahead for those who enter the legal profession without thinking it through.

But with the most WASPy advice ever, this paper advises a concerned reader to just ignore all the problems with going to a TTT in order to maintain social niceties….

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Woo, Biglaw! Being a summer associate is the best!

It’s the first full week of August, and you know what that means: summer associate programs are wrapping up, and people are beginning to pop bottles of bubbly to celebrate their offers. Before we get to our annual offer rate round-up, we want to know which firm hosted the best summer associate event of the season.

It goes without saying that summer associate programs aren’t what they used to be, but that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t any fun to be had. Biglaw firms are still wining and dining their seasonal employees, but these days, perhaps due to a still dismal job market, summers are better at keeping their clothes on and hiding their inebriation.

That being said, we’d love to know: which law firm put on the best summer associate event of 2014?

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I used to be smart.

I read cases. I ginned up clever distinctions. I examined witnesses and knew what the evidence said. I argued appeals. I wrote real, substantive articles.

I had interesting things to say about multidistrict litigation, class actions, and product liability defense.

I spoke at CLE classes — both to maintain my (and my firm’s) profile and because I had worthwhile things to say.

I coulda been a contender.

But that was then.

I’ve been in-house for nearly five years now, and I’ve become a fool. . . .

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Is cruelty-free makeup legal in China? Nope!

Many years ago, an American credit reporting company called seeking help with forming a subsidiary in China. This company told me of their extensive and expensive market research demonstrating that China had a tremendous pent-up demand for their credit reporting services. As I listened, I kept thinking that unless the law had changed recently, foreign companies were prohibited from engaging in such business without a Chinese joint venture partner.

So I asked politely if anyone had determined whether their planned business would be legal in China. They paused and said they had not, and I suggested that we do so straightaway. After ten minutes of research, I reported back that credit reporting was barred to foreign entities seeking to go it alone. This company never went into China.

Flash forward to the present. Organic, cruelty-free cosmetics have become big business, including in China, where many who can afford such things would not be caught dead putting made-in-China products on their skin. American cruelty-free cosmetic companies are being contacted in droves by Chinese companies seeking importation and distribution deals…

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A summer associate livin’ the life.

* All work and no play makes summer associates sad, but they had a really great time this year, what with the lucky law students attending Broadway shows, sporting events, and Russian cabarets. Sounds like fun! [Am Law Daily]

* Alas, not everyone was getting wined and dined this summer. Some lawyers can’t even find a place to work. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal services sector lost ~200 jobs during the month of July. [WSJ Law Blog]

* It may be the “worst time in the history of legal education to go to law school,” but because of new programs being launched, at least some of our recent graduates will be less screwed. [New York Times]

* “The ABA is used as a whipping boy for standing in the way of innovation,” but soon it’ll vote on revisions to its accreditation standards. Welcome to the party, ABA, thanks for being late. [National Law Journal]

* It took 15 doses of lethal injection drugs to execute Joseph Wood when it should’ve taken one. Don’t worry, it wasn’t cruel and unusual punishment — the Arizona Department of Corrections says so. [CNN]

It’s not every day that a lawyer ad features a caber toss by the attorney. But then again, it’s not everyday you find this kind of lawyer. A Scottish gent who worked for an Australian law firm and practiced in New York before pulling up stakes and moving to Austin, Texas, to start his own firm.

And he has fun with the expectations of firm advertising. For a split second, the ad opens with the dreaded “guy in suit in front of books” before pulling the rug out from under us and taking the audience on a madcap journey of every bit of awesomeness that happens to him while he tries to get through Ronald Dworkin’s Law’s Empire (affiliate link).

Caber toss? Check. Rubik’s Cubes? Check. Bicycle kick goals? Damn right….

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* Law student wants some goddamned pizza. [Huffington Post]

* Elie called for ExamSoft to refund the victims in the so-called #Barghazi incident. Now there’s a petition for that. [Change.org]

* Litigiousness: now in infographic form! [Thomas Barry Solicitors]

* In New York, an appellate court upheld a decision requiring a bank to forfeit interest and attorney fees for dragging out a foreclosure settlement conference through 18 court dates spanning 16 months. If you outlaw needlessly dragging out litigation to bully the other side, only outlaws will drag out litigation to bully the other side. [WiseLawNY]

* The importance of the Sarah Jones appeal. [The Legal Blitz]

* If you’re looking for a job, the SEC is announcing a new initiative to hire a bunch of lawyers. Including lawyers from the class of 2015! [USAJobs]

In some parts of the world, changing water into wine would be considered a gift. Divining alchemy, they would call it. They would lift you on their shoulders and crowd-surf you back into the kitchen… where they would chain you to the sink and put you to work for the rest of the party.

But in Virginia, damn man, in Virginia changing water into wine will get your ass shot. Or it will get you arrested. Or it will get you a $212,500 settlement when the state finally figures out, “Hey, this is just water.”

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Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts from the ATL Career Center’s team of expert contributors. Today, Sunny Choi of Ms. JD interviews lawyers who have found their passion by leaving the law.

What if you could have the best of both worlds? Not being a lawyer, exactly, but being in a professional position that still takes advantage of your lawyerly inclinations and skills. For the final part of my “Finding Your Passion” series, I hope that you will feel inspired by the people below to search for that niche, if your current practice hasn’t been feeling right and leaving you a little half empty. There has got to be a full glass somewhere.

SONYA MAYS (Detroit, MI)
1. What is your current job? And what type of field or industry?

Continue Reading At The ATL Career Center…

Here’s a dog bites man story: a respected dean who just got a new law school off the ground thinks law school is super important. The presses have been appropriately stopped.

The New York Times is exploring the merits of expanding apprenticeship as an alternative to law school for prospective lawyers. Lat weighed in on the side of apprenticeships.

In a post entitled Going to Law School Is More Important Than Ever, Dean Erwin Chemerinsky countered those on Lat’s side by offering a full-throated defense of the law school model. It’s thoughtful, but ultimately succeeds only in exposing the problem with a legal system reliant on attending three-year institutions to produce attorneys….

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Keith Lee

Yesterday over at Hercules and the Umpire, Judge Kopf noted an article from the Federal Judicial Center regarding social media use among jurors. Also in the article was a brief bit on social media use by attorneys during voir dire.

Most judges stated they did not know whether attorneys were using social media during voir dire, and most do not address the issue with attorneys before voir dire. Only 25 judges reported they knew attorneys had used social media in at least one of their trials, usually during voir dire. Attorneys may have used social media to look at prospective jurors’ Facebook pages, to run names through search engines, or to look at online profiles, blogs or websites. Of the 466 judges responding to this survey question, 120 do not allow attorneys to research prospective jurors online during voir dire.

Which caused Judge Kopf to ask: “So long as the use of social media by a lawyer in the courtroom picking a jury is discreet, why in the world would a federal judge interfere with a lawyer using social media to obtain information about jurors during the jury selection process? That doesn’t make any sense to me? ”

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